Depression and flying

[Unregistered]

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 years old and I'm pursuing my dream of becoming a pilot; I have for about 10 months now. Let me be clear, I'm not pursuing my ATP to go to the airlines. I want this to be a hobby and to fly my family and friends. Basically, here's my dilemma. I'm depressed. This hasn't been diagnosed, and nobody other than my closest of friends know, but I know that if I were to go to a doctor it would be diagnosed. It's not like I've been sad for a week. Trust me.

Anyway, this is becoming a major dilemma for me. On one hand of things, I can't take feeling like this anymore. I want to get treated. I can't handle all of this pain anymore. On the other hand, I can't give up my dream. There is no amount of treatment or medication that will overcome crushing that one big life dream that everyone has, flying being mine.

So, obviously, I've done my research. I know the FAA's standards on depression and flying. Here's my issue. First, what if I don't get prescribed one of the four anti-depressants the FAA allows? What if my dosage is different than they allow? What if I try all four and none are the one for me? Also, even if I am prescribed one of the four, in the dosage they allow, and it works, I need to be stable for a year. I am not gonna have time to pursue everything I wanna pursue before going to college if it's going to be over a year until I can start flying again. If I can't get my training done before college, I don't think I'll really be able to do it until I retire.

I get even more frustrated because even if by some chance anti-depressants aren't for me, which I don't think is true, I can't fly while pursuing therapy. That like doesn't work. When you're going to therapy for depression it's not like you go 3 times then you're good and you stop.

I feel like my life has put me in a hole. Either 1. Pursue my dream and never experience happiness. Or 2. Crush my dreams and live a life of sorrowful regret but have a proper brain chemical balance.

I really appreciate the help here guys. I don't feel comfortable talking to my CFI about it because I think it'll make him nervous to fly with me. I just feel so stuck and I don't know what to do. I need advice.

 

[Jim Logajan]

I really appreciate all of this guys, don't take tbis the wrong way, but it's just not that simple. Unless you've been there, you just don't understand. It's not teenage hormones. It's not just being young. Getting a treadmill won't fix it. (I play sports for the record) it is more serious than that. Simply trust me on that. Do I need medication? Maybe not. But I need help. The problem is according to the FAA while pursuing any treatment including seeing someone you should not be flying. Please do not tell me to just enjoy life. The things I would give to make that happen.

Has the depression been bad enough that you have had thoughts of committing suicide?

You said your closest friends know - I assume then that your parent(s) or guardian(s) don't? Are you afraid to tell them because of the possible consequences? (Such as losing further control of your future?)

Given your age, it seems unlikely you would be able to pay for the kind of medical attention you would need without eventually telling parents. When you do find you have to talk with them, it may be useful to start out by pointing out that your desire to earn a pilot license has hit a problem that needs fixing. That lets them know your top priority and goal so that any "solutions" that don't lead to a resolution in that direction can be discarded or set aside as "plan B".

Depression can have many causes - you'll need professional guidance and getting a consultation (not an aviation medical exam) with an AME, which has already been recommended, is probably first or second on your list of things to do, given your strong desire to fly.

Lastly, while you'll get a stern warning from some posters that this next bit of advice is bad advice, consider getting a sport pilot license rather than a private pilot. Perfect for hobby flying without requiring a medical - and you can feel comfortable with seeing a doctor about your depression with low likely-hood of negative consequences to your continued flying. The only downside is you'll only be able to take one passenger with you at a time. That is not always such a bad limitation, in my humble opinion.

 

[Jim Logajan]

Why would a fifteen year old who has no interest in aviation as a career hold a first class medical?

Because a teenager who is involved in athletics should have no problem or concern about passing such a medical. Even what's-her-name from Flying Wild Alaska got a first class medical when she had no reason to.

And make references to college and retirement?

College is definitely on the minds of many teenagers at that age. The comment that mentioned retirement referenced a point in life, not a part of any life plan.

Sorry, but something smells fishy here.

You think maybe it's part of a devious plot to take over America? Or just Pilots of America?

Have you considered that being that paranoid and suspicious might make you unsafe to fly? You could start a thread "Paranoia and flying".

 

[Jim Logajan]

I know I should take care of myself before I take care of aviation, and right now I'm not even in a position to be flying in conditions without a CFI, but it just makes me so nervous that if I seek help, I will be attached with a label to which I can never get rid of, and I'll never be able to fly again. It terrifies me.

Sounds like fear of the unknown. Do you know what is causing the depression? If you don't, then any fears you have about the consequences of being examined are, at best, premature. At worst you just feed a fear that might feed the depression that might otherwise be resolved by some simple treatment. (e.g. change in diet, sleep pattern, supplements, etc.)

Also, let me just say, a sport pilot certificate is not for me. I want to pursue private, instrument, and then train for my Multi in a complex and high performance aircraft and nail all of that. Anything less and I won't be satisfied.

Why all those ratings or nothing? Were you thinking of also getting a commercial license?

 

[Jim Logajan]

Item 18 says " Have you EVER in your life been diagnosed with, HAD, or PRESENTLY have any of the following?
m). Mental disorders of any sort; depression, anxiety, etc?"
Perhaps my interpretation of this is incorrect, but I take it that a DIAGNOSIS is not required.

Your interpretation is incorrect. Unless the original poster's name is Doogie Howser, he cannot possibly be in a position to diagnose anything, including himself.

Consider this: if any person were to answer YES to that item and the FAA were to ask for more information on the specifics, the person would only be able to respond with a statement of their own observations and their own analysis that lead to their self-diagnosis. I can't imagine many situations where that sort of response would be considered acceptable or believable.

If the FAA were perverse enough to accept a self-diagnosis of an illness, they'd logically also have to accept self-diagnoses that one has become "cured" of whatever ailed them.

 

[Jim Logajan]

No ....your wrong. There's no way this kid can solve his problem on this site. He needs to seek professional help and has been given this advise ad nauseum. However he just keeps keeping on with the " yes, but you don't understand" type reply. Seems fishy to me and several others.

If you and several others have a problem with the poster, please don't read or post further to this thread. I get that you are frustrated that the problem hasn't been instantly resolved.

I'm technically an adult (58) and at my age don't appreciate others "protecting" me from wasting my time when I choose to assume an anonymous poster is legitimate. Certainly not when it deals with mental health. I have known three people who eventually attempted suicide - one succeeded. One of her kids found her body in their garage.

If you must persist in your amateur sleuthing for whatever reason drives you, may I suggest you take it to private messages or other mechanisms that are outside this thread?